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The French post-impressionist painter and current subject of The Colour of Memory exhibition at Tate Modern, London, draws feet like pink rakes. There are, of course, things that Bonnard is truly great at: colour, evoking memory, breasts and torsos.

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Feet are not his forte. It was visiting the show that led me to realise the painter was fond of an ingenious — and unintentionally hilarious — solution: kitten heels. His way to get around this was to badly draw Theresa May kitten heels on all of his nudes. To wit: pic. Given the present-day rarity of the kitten heel, even its visual representation threw me. Do you wear kitten heels after bathing? It was my colleague, Elle Huntwho initially noticed the ruse.

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I asked Elle to elaborate on her assessment. Then years later he has this brainwave about putting all his nudes in kitten heels. This theory seemed to me about right. But critic Jonathan Jones thought we were being a little harsh. So, in modern art, putting shoes on a nude is a way of openly sexualising nakedness.

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Or to put it Pierre nude sex women way, Bonnard was kinky about kitten heels. I get this. His photographs, even outside that campaign, frequently featured models in erotic poses wearing bold red or gloss black stilettos. So, putting your foot in a heel, you are putting yourself in a possibly orgasmic situation. Though Jones points to the masturbation sketches by Tracey Eminin which the reclining figure is also wearing shoes. My main beef is that kitten heels are the least sexy shoe of all time. There is nothing aphrodisiacal about an LK Bennett that your aunt might wear with nude tights.

Occasionally, the nudes are shod in what would become known as ballet flatsgiving off a Camden in vibe. He also liked to paint women putting their stockings on. The thing is, sometimes Bonnard pulled the feet off metaphorically speaking. Each time I saw evidence of this, my heart sang. I was so proud of him. Here, for instance, in his painting of a woman in a bath tub:. So, perhaps, he just needed more practice?

I ed Tate Modern. Reader, they did not get back to me. Still, Bonnard is respected for his brightly coloured landscapes influenced by Paul Gauguin and evocative domestic scenes. Some even rate him over his contemporary, Henri Matisse. Considering he drew toes as half-chewed baguettes, that is quite a feat. Pierre Bonnard and the mystery of the nudes in Theresa May kitten heels.

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Hannah Jane Parkinson. Thu 28 Mar Topics Art Painting Tate Modern features. Reuse this content.

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