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It will probably have to be about squirrels. Losers have to pay that. Will also probably be maced and tasered If you have to blow at a DWI stop, try and hum the National Anthem at the same time. Go to a crowded bar and shout out real loud "Hey everybody the drinks are on me"!!! Then leave.
If you get pulled over for driving on the wrong side of the road, tell the cops you were lost and just trying to go back the same way you came. When you get stopped at a DWI check point tell them while the're at it to "check the oil and the air in your tires. And make it quick assholes your in a hurry to get to the next bar! Drive the neighbors Pitt Bulls nuts by hiding behind the fence and meowing like a kitten.
Make sure the gate is not open. Try to impress your New Years date by telling her how you were part of a covert special ops force in the Army - the Salvation Army. If you know somebody with a ranch, get really drunk and pass out naked in the cow pasture. Hopefully the baby calf won't think you're his mother. Just kidding yes it is ; Also - dedicated to the Memory of Cheetah, Tarzan's sidekick from the 30's and 40's Tarzan films. Passed away Christmas Eve at the age of Thanks for the laughs guy!
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